"It doesn't," he replied, "This is just the devil trying to provide distractions for you so you won't be focused on the wonderful thing that's about to happen." I was not happy with this response to all of the questions I had just asked. It didn't help me at all. I gave him a sour look and claimed, "You just don't understand what it's like to be a girl!" and stomped off to the bathroom in 13-year-old girl fashion, probably adding to the annoyance of the lady below us. Sorry, lady. I know you already dislike us.
Yes, I know, you want to slap the yesterday morning me. Me too. Jordan was so right. I should've been thanking God that I am His child and overjoyed about being baptized. Instead, I was worrying about trivial details and not wanting to be up in front of everyone. Yes, I know, I used to be in front of thousands of people at one time, but that was different - it wasn't as myself, it was as a Storm Squad girl. I don't like being up in front of people as myself. So the devil was indeed attacking me with these thoughts.
Thankfully, my sweet husband helped me gather my items, cheered me up, put me in a better mood, and prayed with me on the way to church. But I think that he actually put me in too much of a good mood on the way, because I was laughing hysterically at him right before we got to church. If you know Jordan, you know that he makes some pretty ridiculous jokes quite often. We then pulled up to a parking spot that had a big sign in front of it saying "NO ICE", confusing us, but then made me laugh even more after we figured out the T had been blurred out in the middle.
So all during the Lord's Supper I kept holding back laughter for many different reasons. First of all, I knew as soon as we started singing that my dear Grandma was in the building because I could hear her voice reverberating from the other side of the sanctuary. Secondly, I don't know what it was, perhaps it was the air turning off and on, but every 4 or 5 minutes a small, short noise that sounded exactly like a kitten was heard from across the room. I was picturing the most precious kitten stuck in the air conditioning unit. I told Jordan that it sounded like a kitten, which made him laugh, which made me laugh more, and then the noise would go off again, and the cycle would repeat. I am very thankful that my mom was on the other side of me and not my brother or my dad or it would have been over. I would've been laughing so much that I would've had to leave the room. I'm not kidding.
Also, for some reason, I kept picturing terrible yet hilarious things happening in my head. Like four men standing up to share a Scripture at the exact same time and having to figure out who goes first, or even drawing their swords and dueling it out in the center aisle. And when I say swords I don't mean their Bibles. This one lady in front of us had on a large hat, and I kept picturing the man beside her standing up with gusto, only to knock her hat flying into the air and landing on a sleeping old man. Just things like that. I don't know what is wrong with me when I get in those moods, but for some reason I can think ANYTHING is funny. Then when we were passing the bread, I looked over and Blake was trying to take a small piece off, which wasn't working, and he ended up with this long strip of bread. Which then made me think that I bet he was happy about that because he loves bread, and then I pictured him pulling out squeezy butter to put on it. This was getting bad. I had to shut my eyes and lean on Jordan, praying and concentrating very hard to not hear the kitten noise (which was still happening) as I focused on why we were there, to remember what Jesus did for us. Thankfully, God helped me have that time of remembrance without distraction...somehow. Only by His grace, definitely not by my mental capabilities.
I share all of this to disclose how the devil had already been attacking me before the baptism even happened. At first, it was with a bad mood. Then, it turned into a giggly, ridiculous mood. Both were equally distractive. Only with God's help could I turn my attention on the reason why I was there and why I was being baptized, which you can read about here. So praise the Lord that He did help me, and I did find my waterproof mascara, and I decided on my trusty Moe's t-shirt, and everything ended up going smoothly. And glory hallelujah I was baptized in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ!
|Mr. Mark Schell baptizing me - Jordan had a backstage view!|
|Me with the others who were baptized and Mr. Mark. And a random man behind us.|