Monday, May 20, 2013

What Is Wrong With Me??

Hey, y'all. It's been a while. I have lots to catch up on!

But the first thing I need to write about is that I'm completely different than I was a couple years ago.
Not like, different in a "I'm such a better person" way, different as in possibly crazy and a ridiculous crybaby way.

Let me explain.

Before I got married, I was not a very outwardly emotional person. I would cry sometimes when I got angry/frustrated/overwhelmed, but not usually due to sadness. I actually can't think of many times when I've cried in front of friends. I would usually have a good cry at the end of every basketball season because the girls I coached and loved would be moving on and I would go from seeing them almost every day to not at all. But that was about as emotional as it got. 

At that point in my life I had cried at 3 movies total:

1. The Passion of the Christ - for obvious reasons.

2. Friday Night Lights - We had just lost the state championship during my senior year of basketball and it struck a chord.

3. Toy Story 3 - My brother was leaving for college so that also hit home for me. Another factor was that I had slept with my Teddy for 22 years and was giving it up for a new cuddly buddy (Jordan) so that made it difficult too. (I did take him to college despite my parents' advice. I was not like Andy in the movie. Forgot to say spoiler alert....sorry.)

source: ew.com
I didn't even cry in The Land Before Time or Marley and Me, which I would bet are the most tear producing movies of all time.

But then that all changed after I got married in March 2011. I don't know what actually changed me, but I just started noticing extreme emotional reactions to things that would have never touched me before.

It started with the movie Gran Tarino starring Clint Eastwood. We watched this movie on TV randomly (It's rated R mainly for language so I don't suggest renting it!). I BAWLED. I mean cried really, really hard. Jordan was flabbergasted. 

Then I started noticing it with other things too. Jordan and I usually read a devotional together every night and sometimes it includes a little story. Any time the devotional starts to get the least bit sentimental Jordan will start eyeing me because he knows the tears will start flowing. 

Random videos and commercials will make me tear up. This video Jordan showed me about a baby elephant and its mother got me really crying. I don't know if it's the combo of the elephant running with Coldplay playing or what, but Jordan was cracking up at me losing it over such a thing.


Jordan recorded a cover of the song "Never Stop" by SafetySuit for me for our anniversary and oh boy. Waterworks.

Pretty much anytime he does something romantic the tears start coming. Poor guy. What am I gonna be like when we have kids?? Am I going to burst into tears every time they do something sweet/cute?

What I've cried over the most lately is our favorite TV show ending - The Office. I've watched that show since my senior year of high school and it feels like a part of me is ending. I know that sounds insane, but I am sooo attached to the characters. Jordan loves it too and that's always been our thing. As soon as we got married we started over with Season 1 and have watched every single episode together. 

source: movies.allwomenstalk.com
I already had a hard time back when Michael left, and no, it hasn't been the same without him. But Dwight and Jim are my favorite combo. And I think they ended the show SO well the last few episodes. Oh goodness...am I going to tear up just thinking about it? Probably. 

(Disclaimer: I can't endorse everything on that show because it can be inappropriate. Some crude humor here and there.)

So anyway I BAWLED MY EYES OUT during the finale. I started crying as soon as the opening music started. I know. Ridiculous.

Me wearing my Mose shirt right before the show finale:

So my question is: Is there a time in your life when you became more emotional? Besides during pregnancy. This has been going on for a while now so let's NOT ask if I'm pregnant, haha. That is not the case.

Maybe I'm just growing into womanhood? Becoming more sensitive now that I have a family of my own? I don't know. What is wrong with me??

Second question: What movies/videos have made you cry the most?

Ashley

9 comments:

  1. I totally understand! I used to make fun of my mom when she would cry at everything...now I do it too.
    Stepmom is probably the move that has made me cry the most. Wreck It Ralph was the latest movie that made me cry even though it probably didn't warrant crying.
    I always cry during Survivor when their families visit. And the show Parenthood has made me cry many times.
    But, like you, I don't cry in front of people. And I cry more at TV than at real life?

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  2. I am not REAL emotional either but, I love me a good wedding and I ALWAYS cry when I watch the birth of a baby!!!!!! I think I FEEL more as I have gotten older and I realize how precious life and the people in my life are. You are totally normal. In fact, a lot of people would say you aren't normal if you DON'T cry!

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  3. It's simply just growing up. Until one reaches certain points in her life, she can't possibly understand the emotions that she'll encounter. As a married adult, you now see the value of the simple things like sharing a TV series, the kindness of a stranger, or the loving nature of a spouse. You now also see the brevity of life. It will only deepen as life proceeds through its stages....just wait till you have kids! But don't feel silly...you are blessed with tenderheartedness...and it is nothing to be ashamed of...I should know! :)

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  4. It's simply just growing up. Until one reaches certain points in her life, she can't possibly understand the emotions that she'll encounter. As a married adult, you now see the value of the simple things like sharing a TV series, the kindness of a stranger, or the loving nature of a spouse. You now also see the brevity of life. It will only deepen as life proceeds through its stages....just wait till you have kids! But don't feel silly...you are blessed with tenderheartedness...and it is nothing to be ashamed of...I should know! :)

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  5. I cry at really random things too. The target commercial about people getting into college-- whoa, its like a fountain exploded. I also never fail to cry at the end of a church service when people respond and come to the front. That and when people get baptized. Which is good, I think, but always takes me by surprise.

    Also, the movie Stepmom. Never fails.

    also also, i BAWLED with the office ending too. I'm there with ya-- devoted fan since 2007. I still can't believe it's over!

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  7. I can totally relate, except I have always been an emotional person, and it got worse! And even BEFORE I will marry my fiance! We have been dating for 2 1/2 years, and about a 6 months into our relationship I knew he was "the one" and that I was truly in love. Because I now felt actual true, deep, love for another person, everything else having to do with love and emotions just became more real for me. I bawl over everything :) So no, you are not alone!! The movie that really got me was Cold Mountain; the movie with Jude Law and Nicole Kidman placed in the the Civil War Era. I NEVER bawled over a movie so much in my life!!

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  8. In some ways, I feel the exact same way that you do. Except it hasn't always been that way. I have always been a person to really feel things deeply, so growing up I cried a lot. I had strong emotions and no problem expressing them. Then I got to college and started maturing and finding my security in Christ rather than my circumstances and things like that, so I cried a whole lot less. Still had strong emotions but they no longer controlled me. Then the last few years I have become more tender, so different things have started making me cry. Did I cry when I graduated college? No. But I cry any time I hear an adoption story. Do I cry when I feel loss in my own life? Not usually, but I cry when close friends or siblings go through an intense trial.
    I think the reason you and I (and many others) cry more now is because we have grown in compassion and love as we walked with the Lord and have come to treasure things like the memories that have come from things like The Office or when we see true expressions of love. We find value in what's really important and it makes us sentimental. That's my theory anyway.
    Was so excited to see you posted again!
    Laurie (andallisbright.wordpress.com)

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  9. OH MY GOSH YES. just yes. I grew up with lots of emotions and then got a handle on all that towards the end of high-school (God was also healing a lot of things in me). Then I had these blissful years of feeling pretty great in the emotion department!! Sure, I cried at the Ooo-casional movie, but not many things took me to tears too easily.

    But NOW?! NOW.. Good Lord I am an emotional CASE if you ever saw one. Ok that's dramatic, but as soon as I started dating my now husband, this emotion-filled person came out. It was ridiculous to me and I had no idea why so many things struck me.. movies, something sweet, someone sharing about something God did, when I had a hard time expressing myself, PHIL JACKSON!? Yes, something about Phil Jackson made me teary and still does. He spoke at Dr. Jerry Buss' memorial before one of the games this season and I sat there with my slice of pizza, in the midst of all our [mostly guy] friends with these crocodile tears.

    All that to say I STILL don't really get it. Thankfully, my husband is so my advocate and has begun to understand my tears nowadays. But recently, even he's been on the teary train! Don't bring a newborn around the man, he can hardly contain himself.

    You're not alone, Ashley!!

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