Y'all know I love marriage. You know I love to talk about it. (Hence the blog name Christian Wife Life). You KNOW I love how it's a beautiful picture of the gospel. And I hope it's obvious that I adore my husband.
BUT...marriage isn't everything.
While one of my biggest goals of this blog is to encourage fellow believers in marriage and talk about the journey of learning to be a godly wife (through grace), that doesn't mean it's the best thing you can do in life. It doesn't mean that your top aspiration as a woman should be marriage and nothing else. Not. At. All.
It's good to talk about those things. It's COMMANDED to talk about those things. (Titus 2:3-5)
But the most important goal in life? Whether you're married, single, divorced, widowed, dating, separated, engaged, it's complicated (okay now I'm just listing Facebook relationship statuses)....is to glorify God and make much of Jesus Christ as a redeemed, forgiven, renewed woman covered in grace.
You, yes YOU, were put on earth RIGHT now for THIS time you are in. It is no mistake, no accident. You are loved, you are made by God, you are given your talents, quirks, qualities, and attributes in a completely unique way. God sent His Son Jesus Christ for us in spite of our brokenness and faults. (Rom. 5:8) We could NEVER be perfect, but Jesus was. We don't have to perform or do a list of good deeds to earn His love or a ticket to heaven. (Titus 3:4-6, Eph. 2:8-9) All we have to do is accept His free gift of forgiveness and salvation and follow Him. (Matt. 16:24-26) We get to have a relationship with Him NOW because of this gift! And then spend eternity with God too. Wow. Dwell on this. Remind yourself of it EVERY DAY.
You know what else we don't have to do to please God?
I think we (believers) put marriage on a pedestal sometimes. And while it's a good thing - something that can honor God greatly - it's not the end-all be-all of a Christian woman's life.
Single women: There is nothing wrong with you because you're not married! (There are plenty of things wrong with all of us because we're all sinners, but singleness in itself is not one of them.) You can serve and glorify the Lord just as you are. Married women and single women can serve together; we don't have to separate into different groups.
Singleness doesn't equal "a time of waiting". Yes, God does give us times of waiting, but that doesn't mean every single girl is in one right now. These times can be at ANY point in our lives. God is refining and shaping your life through the power of the gospel and the Holy Spirit while you are single OR married.
When you're single, you should focus on loving the Lord with all your heart, mind, and soul. (Matt. 22:37-38) And when you're married you should focus on..... the same thing! That doesn't change! Priorities after that first one may change, but the number one stays the same.
This brings me to wives and how we look at marriage.
Sometimes I tend to think of marriage as something that is just for my enjoyment. Ahhhh, love, isn't it great? Isn't it beautiful? Isn't it....a huge blow to my ego? Yes. All of the above. Going back to that #1 goal - the glory of God - marriage is no different. Therefore, marriage should happen to make much of Jesus.
I am speaking from my own experience - marriage is sanctifying process. God uses it to refine me, that's for sure. When I look at my husband and think, "Isn't he cute? What can he do for ME? How can he please ME?" I get a huge reality check. Marriage is a prime opportunity to put the second most important goal into practice - loving others. Putting another's needs above my own. (Matt. 22:39) It's not to be taken lightly.
When I got married, I started noticing things about myself that I hadn't before - I like Ramen noodles too much. I leave dishes in the sink too long. I stay up too late. I procrastinate way too much. I'm SELFISH. I can be a really bad communicator. I can be a horribly whiny girl. I'm messy. (Oh wait, I already knew that one...)
God is using marriage to make me LESS selfish. To challenge me. To point out my brokenness even more and show me my dire need for a Savior. To help me practice self-sacrificing love, forgiveness, service, respect. To show me that although I think my husband is the most amazing man in the world, he's not perfect. He will disappoint me because he's human and a sinner as well. And honestly - learning those things is NOT fun. But I'm not married just for fun. I'm married to glorify God.
You're married to glorify God.
You're single to glorify God.
You're in whatever state you are in currently to glorify God.