Tuesday, October 1, 2013

31 Days of Respecting my Husband


Respecting men, specifically my husband, is something that the Lord has laid on my heart in the past few years. And when I say He has laid it on my heart, I mean He's convicted me like crazy about it.

I've been married for two and a half years now and have barely grazed the surface of what respecting my husband looks like. This is a chance for me to dive deeply into the subject and learn more about how God calls me to treat my husband. 

I'm joining in on The Nester's 31 Day Challenge and writing about respecting my husband. For 31 days I will write about this topic and preach to MYSELF. 

(See the bottom of this post for all 31 days!)

If it challenges you as well, then great. But honestly? This subject is directed toward ME. So just know that I am no expert. I am a servant of the Lord wanting to learn more about this amazing calling He has placed in my life - being a wife. 



Before you read this series, you should probably read this post about how marriage isn't everything. The gospel is everything. Marriage is just one of the many ways God gives us a picture of His plan of redemption - His grace, love, and sacrifice.

ANYTHING good that I can do for my husband is through the Lord's grace. It is not of my own doing. What a relief! It's not about my performance. I don't have to work harder to earn favor from God or my husband. But that relationship with the Lord and with my husband motivates me to serve them - out of LOVE. I hope that makes sense. I want to keep that in mind as I study this topic - this isn't a checklist of things to do in my marriage. It's a way to brainstorm how I can love the Lord and my husband through His grace.

Here is an excellent reminder of that in Scripture: "For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them." - Ephesians 2:8-10

I'm not saved BY good works, I'm saved FOR good works.

Alright. So let's get into it.

Why should I respect my husband?

Ephesians 5:22-24,31-33
"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands."
"'Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.' This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife she that she respects her husband."

1 Peter 3:1-4
"Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external - the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear - but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious."

As you can see in these passages, God commands me to respect my husband. In today's culture, that may seem like a negative thing. "Respect" and "submit" aren't words that are thrown around in magazines when talking about relationships. Actually, it's usually quite the opposite. Messages of taking charge and getting what you want out of a relationship are shoved in our faces daily. Why is this? Because we are selfish. I am selfish. Bottom line.

Respecting my husband goes even deeper than marriage. It goes back to putting others before myself. To laying my desires down for God's glory and the benefit of others. Showing sacrificial love. This all relates to respecting my husband. It's a GOOD thing. So let's put any negative and worldly connotations aside when looking into this. 

This means respecting him regardless of HIS performance. This isn't about him deserving my respect. It's about treating him this way unconditionally. Unless I am in a dangerous situation that I need to get out of (which I should discuss with my church leaders if that ever were to happen), I should respect my husband.

But you know what one of the amazing things are about this? Respecting my husband motivates him to love me better. What a wonderful side effect! That doesn't mean everything will be perfect and that there won't be trials or problems, but it does mean that my respectful actions and attitude will make me more lovable

The rest of the month we will focus on the HOW. We will talk about practical ways to respect. Today is all about the WHY:
  • For the glory of God.
  • Because God commands me to respect my husband.
  • Out of love for the Lord and my spouse.
  • To get to know both God and my husband better.
  • To further the gospel.
  • To be more lovable. 
You can follow me along in this subject if you want - but like I said, it's for me. :) 

If you're wondering if I've ever written about this before, I have - I did, back before we got married! It's fun to look back and see what I was thinking and dwelling on a few years ago. God has been working in me a lot since then. (And always will be!)



Ashley

21 comments:

  1. 100% agree with your post... looking forward to learning from you about this subject for the next 30 days! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you! I'm looking forward to learning through writing about it. :)

      Delete
    2. Tips To Save Your Marriage With Your Husband My husband has a female friend that he started a friendship with while we were married about 2 years ago. They hid their friendship from me and I had to find out about it through phone records and text messages. I was extremely uncomfortable when I found all this out and there were secrets and lies involved. He asked for forgiveness and I gave it, but he did not stop being friends with the girl, and basically I had to live with it. Ever since then my trust in him has suffered and I am still not comfortable with their friendship, even though he has backed off from her a lot. But the connection they have is still there, because every time they get around each other his attention is on her, they laugh a lot and share a lot of the same interests and have great chemistry. I feel so left out when they’re around each other, but my husband reassures me that it’s just a friendship, and nothing more. I’m skeptical of it all because they initially hid their friendship from me but I have to look for urgent help to keep and save my marriage so i decided to contact and look for a real spell caster online which i did for help, with in 2 days my husband come back to me and stop messaging the woman he is now faithful to me all thank to Dr MARVN the number one best spell caster in Africa so contact him if you need help on MARVINLOVESPELL011@GMAIL.COM you can also call him or add him on whats-app +239059897314

      Delete
  2. This is such a well-thought out post! I especially like your point about that this isn't really about whether or not he deserves respect...because when we get caught up in that whole cycle of respecting him only based on his actions at the moment...that is not at all helpful for a healthy marriage relationship!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Amen, Rachel! You said it perfectly with the word "cycle"! Thank you for your encouragement, it means a lot. :)

      Delete
  3. I love that you're doing this and look forward to the next 30 posts! :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. I'm super excited you're doing this! I'll be following along even though I'm not married. But I'll take all the marriage prep I can get!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Girl I read the book "Love and Respect" way before I got married, haha. It's always a good thing to study! And I need it more than anyone. Love ya.

      Delete
  5. You are such a mentor to other young, married girls. You should teach a series on this as a bible study for young women. This is so so needed. I will follow every day!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I would LOVE to do that. Maybe the Lord will have me turn it into one someday, although I'm sure there are already lots on the subject. Thank you so much for your encouragement - you are a huge inspiration!

      Delete
  6. i am suuuuper excited for this.

    you are a blessing~ I love finding women who aren't afraid of the "dreaded Ephesians 5" message LOL

    officially subscribed :) xo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for your kind words! Haha it can be a scary message for sure. But I definitely need to learn more about it.

      Delete
  7. Thank you, Ashley! In the one year that I've been married I've seen how a lack of respect can ruin my relationship with my husband, but genuine respect can build up and encourage him. This subject is one that God has been continuously laying on my heart and I'm so excited to follow along and learn from what God is teaches you! Your blog has been a blessing to me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are so right. I'm glad He's laying it on our hearts and I am pumped to learn more about it although it is quite convicting! Anything good in it is from the Lord, not me, that's for sure. :)

      Delete
  8. How did you become so popular as a blogger ? I love this.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Excellent writing:)!! And very useful for a fresh wife as myself;) I'll definitely look more into this 31 day challenge myself:)

    ReplyDelete
  10. I just want you to know im only on day two of this 31 days and did some serious self reflection on humility. The change in 48 hours astounds me and brought me closer to Christ and my husband. Thank you for blessing other marriages.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I'm getting married this Saturday so this is perfect reading for me! Thank you for sharing it with all of us!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Ashley, I must say that I stumbled upon your blog at the exact right moment. Thank you for you wise words, encouragement and "slap in the face" as I would put it :) Excited to read the rest of the chapters of this topic!

    ReplyDelete
  13. After one year my husband left home, Dr Aven returned him back to me I'm so happy that he is back because he mean a lot to me and my family i just want to say thank you Dr Aven for your help and time to restored my broken marriage and bring back happiness into my life, anyone out there need speedy help can also contact Dr Aven via email,
    dr.avensolutioncentre@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete

LinkWithin

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...