Day 12: Respecting His Clothes
This seems to be a fairly common progression in relationships: Girl meets guy, girl likes guy, girl dates guy, girl tells guy she thinks he's hot and handsome, girl and guy are together for a while, girl tells him that maybe he should try a different hairstyle, girl starts commenting on guy's clothes, girl buys him some clothes, girl makes guy wear aforementioned clothes, girl starts dictating guy's outfits, guy wonders what happened because he always dressed that way, guy thought girl already liked him for who he is, girl continues to make guy feel bad about his style, guy starts to resent being treated like a child, guy gives up and wears whatever girl wants.
Okay, that may be a little extreme, but I think it can be true to an extent. I'm not saying I shouldn't be honest or help Jordan pick out clothes when he wants me to, or that I shouldn't shop for him occasionally or buy him clothes for Christmas. But I am saying that I need to be careful, and that it's another thing I need to refrain from trying to control.
I think Jordan would look great in pink or purple shades of shirts. He would never pick that. I think he would look dashing in a white shirt with a skinny black tie and suspenders. He would probably only wear that as a costume. I think his hair looks SO GOOD in a faux hawk. He only does that as a joke after his shower. I would love to see him wear a flat billed hat, and then turn it backwards too. He is probably laughing or shaking his head or both while reading this.
While he knows that I think he would look good in these items (because it's not a bad thing to tell him my opinion), he also knows that I think he looks amazingly handsome how he already is. When I think he looks good, I tell him. (It's a lot. I actually annoy him with this.) I love how he looks in a suit and I love how he looks in a t-shirt and gym shorts. He wears mostly the same clothes or type of clothes he did when we started dating. I loved it then, and I love it now.
I don't ever want to make Jordan feel bad about his style. No, it's not always what I'd pick out for him. Yes, there are times when I tell him that something is completely out of season or doesn't go together, but he tells me that too. And I think the key is to making those times rare, and again -- making "I love it when you" statements instead of negative comments. Like, "I love it when you wear that blue button up, it really makes your eyes stand out." That way it can be more adoring-girl-like and less mother-like.
Of course, all guys are different. Your husband may want more direction when it comes to clothing or he may be the most stylin' stud ever who gives YOU clothing advice. We just need to be supportive, encouraging, and respectful about our husbands' style no matter what the situation is!
One thing I do buy for Jordan and love for him to wear: Red Sox shirts. Go Sox!