Monday, October 7, 2013

Respecting my Husband: His Desire for Me (Sex)

I'm doing a 31 day series about Respecting my Husband! To read about why I should respect him and go to a list of all 31 days, please visit my 31 Days of Respecting my Husband post.


Day 7: Respecting His Desire for Me (Sex)

God wants me and my husband to have sex. 

He created it. It's a gift for us. Do you want to see where He talks about it in the Bible?

"The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife. Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won't be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control." - 1 Corinthians 7:4-5 (NLT)

"Drink water from your own well - share your love only with your wife. Why spill the water of your springs in the streets, having sex with just anyone? You should reserve it for yourselves. Never share it with strangers. Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you. Rejoice in the wife of your youth. She is a loving deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts satisfy you always. May you always be captivated by her love." - Proverbs 5:15-19

And there's more than that, but that's a good place to park for today. Did you notice some of the commands in those verses?
  • Do not deprive each other of sexual relations.
  • Share your love with your spouse.
  • Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you.
  • Rejoice in the wife of your youth.
  • Let her breasts satisfy you always.
Woahhh, God. Getting kinda specific there, aren't we? A little TMI? 
I don't think so. I am so grateful for these words and that He's clear about this.

I repeat, God wants me and my husband to have sex.

Sex is an amazing thing. It is a time of intimacy like no other. It's honestly one of the top ways I can show love and respect to my husband. I could go on and on about this, and maybe someday I'll do a whole series specifically on sex, but I'll try to keep it short for today.

I am honored (and flattered, really) that Jordan desires me. Do I want to be that "fountain of blessing" for him? Do I want him to be "captivated by [my] love"? YES YES YES and yes. Of course. There are many ways that I can do that - by serving him, complimenting him, supporting him. But a huge way I can do that is to have sex with him. OFTEN. The amount is different for everyone, but going back to Scripture, it should be whenever it's desired, really. 

And I don't mean sex that seems like service only. I think a lot of the time when authors approach this subject (especially in Christian spheres) they focus on the man's need. And while yes, that is true, for a wife that just sounds kinda weird. Like another thing on a list. He needs dinner, toilet paper, his underwear washed, and sex. Hmm. How about let's look at it in a more positive way? Although it may be a need, it's more than that - it's a DESIRE. It's a fountain of blessing. It's captivating! Take absolute pleasure in it. 

Wanting to have sex with my husband, taking pleasure in it, is a huge compliment to him. Especially when I let him know that I want him through my words, body language, and actions. Sex isn't something to just do quickly before we go to bed. We can talk about it. We can be spontaneous or we can look forward to it. We can take pleasure in it at any time of day. I can initiate it. He can. We can mix it up. It's awesome! 

And yes, there are times when I'm tired. Or when I'm mentally distracted. (I'm sure this happens a million times more when kids are in the picture.) But does that mean I should deprive him of it during those times? The Bible says no. Unless we have set apart a time for focusing on prayer/fasting to abstain from sex, we should be doing it. And you know what? When I do it in spite of being distracted or tired, I don't regret it. Not one bit. It actually improves my mood, brings me closer to my husband, and helps relax me. Now if I'm sick/feeling horrible or he is, then obviously we need to be loving and compassionate enough to want to take care of each other rather than say "Hey, babe, are we setting apart time for prayer? Because if not, you should have sex with me."

That's because this whole sex thing - It's not about me. It's about loving, respecting, serving, and pleasing my husband. Putting him before myself. Like every part of marriage. The fact that it's amazing for me too is just a wonderful benefit. :) (Thank You, God!) And when we are both focused on pleasing the other person...well let's just say that makes it even more incredible. 


See you tomorrow for Day 8 - Respecting my Husband: His Kingdom (Home).


Ashley

30 comments:

  1. I am loving this series that you're doing!!

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    1. Thank you! Anything good in it is from the Lord, not me. And it's convicting me like crazy! haha.

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  2. My son is blessed! :) Such a great post from God's perspective on sexual intimacy.

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  3. Oh so true! For fun, you should/could read this--https://www.lds.org/ensign/1986/09/they-twain-shall-be-one-thoughts-on-intimacy-in-marriage?lang=eng
    It's further proof that God supports marital intimacy. It's by a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (aka Mormon). We share the same views!
    You're blog is wonderful!
    ~Olivia
    http://lilgunnellfam.blogspot.com/

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    1. I like how it pointed out how the Bible says "know" or "knew" as a term for having sex - so intimate! Thank you for sharing.

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  4. I love reading about sex in the bible! People often get embarrassed or won't talk about it but God made it for us to enjoy!

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  5. What a beautiful picture you've drawn for us, and I couldn't agree more! Thank you for sharing your positive perspective on the joys and benefit of sex in marriage. I loved it!

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    Replies
    1. I'm so thankful for it! Thanks for the encouragement. :)

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  6. Thank you so much for sharing this post. it is so well written and something that I personally really needed right now. Thank you!

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  7. This is awesome! Imagine how much more successful Christian marriages would be if each spouse held this perspective. I think it would really get people wondering what the Church has that they don't have - meaning, Jesus Christ! It does get harder after having kids. Long before even meeting my husband Daniel, I decided that I would love him MORE than our children and make our marriage a higher priority than them (Jesus obviously being the highest Priority). That means not being afraid to let the baby continue crying until we are "done" or helping the baby so he doesn't distract me and then picking up where we left off. Prioritizing my husband in this way has actually freed me to love our children better. I'm not afraid of Daniel feeling left out when I'm snuggling on our boys because he already knows that he's my favorite :)

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    Replies
    1. Ahhh, I love this. I hope you don't mind if I quote this comment in the future! :) Thanks so much.

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    2. I don't mind at all :) Thank you!

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  8. P.S. I've read here that you live in/near Raleigh/Cary? We live outside of Wilmington! If you're ever in the area and were interested, I'd love to get together with you to chat about the Lord, marriage, life. I hope that doesn't come off as totally creeper-ish. I promise I'm a real wife, mom, believer in Jesus! Haha :)

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  9. What does the bible say about the husband respecting the wife and treating her like a queen? I find it extremely difficult to show my desire after fighting and not feeling the desire back.

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