Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Respecting my Husband: His Kingdom (Home)

I'm doing a 31 day series about Respecting my Husband! To read about why I should respect him and go to a list of all 31 days, please visit my 31 Days of Respecting my Husband post.

Day 8: Respecting His Kingdom (Home)

My husband has told me that he thinks of our house as his kingdom. As his queen, I feel a huge responsibility towards that kingdom. If I respect his kingdom, I will take good care of it.

This is probably what I need to work on the most. That's hard to pick, because I need a LOT of work in everything I'm talking about this month, but this one in particular is difficult for me. I'll just say it -
I'm a messy person.

You know how you always hear wives complaining about how messy their husbands are? How they just can't seem to get those dirty clothes in the laundry basket? (First of all, should we revisit this post? haha) Well in this marriage, Jordan could be the one complaining about me to his friends. I am the one who leaves the clothes on the floor. The dishes in the sink. The books and notebooks all over the table. That's me.

My biggest motivation for cleaning up is when people are coming over. Isn't that terrible? I'm just being honest. If I respect my husband, then I need to respect his kingdom! I want to make his home a peaceful environment for him. A place that makes him feel comfortable. Where he can calm his mind and body, getting rejuvenated. 

It's easy for me to look at all the stuff that needs to get done in our house and become overwhelmed. Instead of doing everything it makes me want to do nothing. My friend Katelyn (who is an inspiration to me as a wife & mother) posted on Instagram yesterday a picture of her kitchen and said in her caption, "Giving thanks for all the small things this morning, including this clean kitchen. I am thankful for God encouraging my heart to face one task at a time." That spoke to me so deeply! One task at a time. And not only that, but giving it to God. It's more natural for me to give big life issues to God, but to talk to him about cleaning my house? I've hardly done that. But why not? 

Y'all, I don't even have kids yet. Some wives tell me they understand and that this is a struggle for them too...but usually those wives have tiny humans running around. So if you have my same issue and you aren't a mom yet, by all means let me know that I'm not alone!

I don't need my house to be perfect. I don't want perfect. I can't be perfect, in anything, ever. (Except Guitar Hero. I used to be able to get 100% on some of the songs.) Instead of perfect, I want to be full of grace. Full of love. And I want my house to be like that too. Not perfect, but an outward sign of the respect I have for the ruler of our little kingdom. 

This isn't our house. It's a random door in downtown Raleigh. But it's pretty, isn't it? :)



  1. Just say the word and I'll come running to have a cleaning day with you! My house needs a good cleaning too but I'd rather clean someone else's house. :)

  2. Girl, I am right with you. Dishes in the sink and all. And no kids to blame either :-) My husband is neater than me and it is a constant battle to think of it as a way of serving him. Have you seen that pin "I do more cleaning in the 10 minutes before people come over than I do all week"? When it's on a pin I know I'm not alone haha

  3. I read what Kim said...I do that for one of my girls who struggles in that area too! It gets her motivated and I love helping her. Take her up on it!

    P.S. I want to print this whole series out! It is THAT good! I love your honesty!

  4. Ashley THANK you for posting this! This is something I am so bad about! Michael is more of the OCD clean person and I am absolutely a "throw things all over the place" kinda girl. I have been trying to make a point of picking up around here each night so I know it will be somewhat neat in the mornings! I always joke that I can't keep my house clean with just me and him so I wonder how I can do it when a little baby comes along? Thanks for reminding me of just how though.. His Grace. There are no "sillies" with God and I know I can give Him the small things as much as I give him the big things. And I am thankful Michael loves me no matter of how big of a mess I can create- but it is also about respecting him and our home that he provides for! I am LOVING reading these each day. Thank you!

  5. You are so not alone! I'm so relieved that someone understands me! I am so lazy and hate cleaning and cooking. I don't work or have children and I always feel so guilty. I know exactly what you mean about feeling overwhelmed! But I love what you said about taking it one step at a time, and giving it to God! I needed to hear that. You are such an encouragement to me :) love you girl!

  6. This post was GREAT Ashley. It's nice to know there are other wives out there growing and learning day by day. I am a newlywed of only 4 months and juggling work, ministry, and wifely responsibilities and "the house" is one of my most glaring faults. It's so hard to keep things clean and it's definitely not my husband's fault... I am soooo the guilty party. My brain cannot focus on the house until my day off. It looks great for one day, and the rest of the week...well... let's just say I have a VERY patient, loving, understanding husband. :) I actually began a blog myself about the learning process of being a wife. Click my name if you want to check it out some time!

  7. I'm the same way!! My husband is the one saying, "Can you please go put your shoes up?" Because there will be like 5 pairs by the door. Guilty!!

    We both work full time and I always say, "How do people work and keep a house *with* kids?!?" I can't imagine! I like the one task at a time idea.

    I love how honest you are.

    Thank you,

  8. You know Ashley, I used to be extremely neat and almost anal about it. But my hubby isnt neat at all. And initially I gave him grief over not picking up after himself. And I saw that was fruitless. Then I relaxed my neat gene and started getting messy myself-arghh! Then after children he decided he wanted the house clean...interesting. So I had to make a commitment to God that I would give it my best-starting with the kitchen-dishes clean every night and lots of BIG baskets and org. products help keep things put up & orderly!

  9. I am with you! I believe that it is because we are soo busy and always on the go with a full calendar all the time. Having recognized this, I am really trying to not have us be as busy and to actually schedule out blocks of time to do NOTHING. That way we are not exhausted when we walk in the door and can actually tackle those piles of laundry!

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