Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Respecting my Husband: His Words

I'm doing a 31 day series about Respecting my Husband! To read about why I should respect him and go to a list of all 31 days, please visit my 31 Days of Respecting my Husband post.


Day 2: Respecting His Words

When it comes to respecting my husband's words, there is one thing that is key - 

LISTENING.

I'm not even really a talker, relatively speaking, but I know that I talk more than my husband. This may not be the case for you, but I would bet that it is for the majority. Women, for the most part, like to talk more than men.

But you know what the first step to listening to my husband is? 
Not talking.

I used to have a youth pastor who would stand up and repeat over and over, "Are you listening? Not if you're talking," until we all shut up and listened to him. It worked.

I am honored to be not only my husband's wife, but his best friend. Someone he can confide in. But I can't be that someone if I don't LET him confide in me. If he is taking the time to talk to me about something - anything - I need to respect that and listen. 

And that doesn't mean listen for two seconds and butt in with my opinion. It means actively listening to ALL he has to say. Without thinking the entire time about what I'm going to say next. (Aren't we all guilty of this?)

So what does it mean for me to be an active listener?
  • Making eye contact
  • Laying aside distractions
  • Responding with body language (facing him, nodding)
  • Clarifying what he's saying
  • Asking questions
What do I mean by clarifying what he's saying? For example, if he's talking about something that went wrong at work, I could say something like, "That must have been frustrating." And then he could either say, "Yes! It was!" or "Frustrating? It was more like horrifying!" (Jordan would never say that but it's the example that popped in my head.) So with either response from him I have a better understanding of how he is feeling and what he is trying to convey to me. When having conversations (with anyone for that matter) I am often assuming what the person is feeling because that's how I would be feeling - but this isn't always the case. It's usually NOT the case because we aren't actually the same person and can't read each other's minds. That's why it's good to provide feedback that clarifies what he is saying.

Another example - if he tells me, "I sat by myself at lunch today," I would probably respond with, "That sounds relaxing!" But he may come back with, "It was actually pretty lonely." See how we could take something two completely different ways? But I won't know unless I clarify. I hope that makes sense.

This may seem weird to do at first, but I remember learning it in an education course in college and I've tried to put it into practice ever since then. It truly helps when trying to understand people and get into their heads. It's a good habit to pick up.

When I say asking questions, I don't mean in a nagging, weird way. It's more like a follow-up. Sometimes I don't know if Jordan just wants me to listen or if he wants help. I can ask questions like, "Is there any way I can help you with this?" or "How can I pray for you about this?" 

Showing respect for my husband's words means letting him know that his words have value. That his thoughts, ideas, and opinions are important to me. If there is anyone in the world who will listen to him no matter what he has to say, it should be me. I pray that I can be that confidant for him!

Speaking of Jordan....what a stud! :)


See you tomorrow for Day 3 - Respecting my Husband: Talking About Him.
Do I portray my husband in a positive or negative light to other people?



Ashley

20 comments:

  1. This is probably the aspect of marriage I'm going to struggle with the most: shutting up! Ha!

    Seriously, though, I love how you point out that if we're talking, we can't be listening. It's just not possible. And I take this in the spirit of my relationship with Christ, too: if I'm talking or planning or doing, I can't be guided by His still, small whisper.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Annie! That is SUCH a good point! I am so glad you said that. Prayer is not easy for me, especially the being still part. Thank you for making that connection!

      Delete
    2. Dr.Olu, you are indeed a miracle worker. I have tried so many spell casters and psychic after my husband left me and told me to go and see the attorney for the divorce just because his mother, my mother in-law wasn't in support of our marriage, she hated me for no reason and treated me like an outcast, my husband have been on my side since we got married early this year 2018 but since april he totally changed and started listening to his mother to divorce me. I have tried so many spell caster for help but there was no result after i wasted alot of money, i kept trying because i loved my husband so much and never wanted to lose him. After some days i came across Dr. Olu's contact on the internet and only Dr. Olu was the only spell caster that could guarantee me an urgent 24hours love spell casting.. and he assured me that my husband is coming back.. I trusted Dr. Olu, and its was more than a dream to see my husband back to my life with lots of apologies and love on the 7th of may this year 2018.... And he was remorseful for all his wrong actions, even my mother in-law came with her friends begging me to forgive her that she never knew why she hated me.. For sure this is really a miracle temple. Know more about Dr. Olu via his blog website: http://drolulovespellhome.blogspot.com/ or through his Email address: drolulovespellhome@gmail.com or drolulovespellhome@yahoo.com.. Add him on whatsapp or call him via his mobile: +2348067704010. Sir I'm grateful for restoring peace in my home.. Vivian Mark from Florida...

      Delete
    3. I NEED MY EX LOVER BACK TO ME EMAIL assurancesolutionhome@gmail.com whatsapp +1(424)-261-8520

      I contacted DR LARRY and he told me that my ex will come back to me in the next 4days, DR LARRY released him up to know how much i loved and wanted him. And opened his eyes to picture how much we have share together. My ex is now back to me again. As I`m writing this testimony right now I`m the most happiest Woman on earth and myself and my boyfriend are living a happy life and our love is now stronger than how it were even before our break up. All thanks goes to DR LARRY for the excessive work that he has done for me by helping me to get back with my ex boyfriend. I would like to drop DR LARRY website http://assurancesolutionhome.website2.me/ and hope you see this testimony and contact him if you have a lover that you really want back so badly, Email assurancesolutionhome@gmail.com or you can whatspp him on this Number +1(424)-261-8520 assurancesolutiohome.blogspot.com

      Delete
  2. Thank you so much! This is perfect and something that I need to work on. I need to make sure I'm not just listening to the sounds of my husband talking but listening to the words!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I will always need to work on this for sure. It's not easy! Thanks for the encouragement. :)

      Delete
  3. Love it! I'm still learning this!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Love this post, girl! I am learning this in my friendships, to focus more on listening, and not just listening to respond.

    Miss your gorgeous self!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, yes, you are so right. It can apply to all relationships! It's so not easy.

      Miss you tooooooo!

      Delete
  5. And to add: I am not "Holy Spirit Jr".....I have to practice allowing the Holy Spirit to instruct, correct and deal with my hubby. That's not my role.

    ReplyDelete
  6. So true I am a talker Lord lol I always joke and say God made it so I started making teeth at 3months(real) because he knew I would be a talkative person my problem has always been listening to hear what the person is saying and not just so I can respond which is double trouble for me because I'm opinionated have a low attention spand and a daydreamer so I really have to work extra hard on this thank God I'm improving

    ReplyDelete
  7. This is one of my most painful issues in my marriage. I am sometimes guilty of not fully listening, but sometimes I just can't here him because his voice is quiet or because I couldn't switch gears fast enough from what I was doing to dial in to what he said or it literally takes me about 30 seconds to be able to process what he just said and he gets really mad and feels like I don't care about him and refuses to repeat anything even if it was an honest mistake. That really hurts my feelings.

    ReplyDelete
  8. How To Get Your Girlfriend Back After Cheating On You With Another Guy Urgent Genuine Love spell With 100% Gauarantee On Happylovespell2@gmail.com.. Me and my girlfriend have been getting into little arguments which then later escalate. a lot of which are my fault but i never thought i would lose her because we are in love. she told me yesterday that she loves me but she is done. that the fights keep hurting her too much. i can’t believe i hurt her like that and would love nothing more than another chance to prove to her and myself that i will cut out my insecurities that I’ve brought into this relationship. It wasn’t until i lost her that my eyes really opened in what i was doing. i asked for another chance and she said she cannot do that right now. i asked if she is done with my forever and she said she doesn’t know what will happen down the road but right now she needs space. I’m lost, confused, heart broken. i feel like it’s all my fault and i don’t want to lose her, all she told me was that the relationship is over, she blocked me on whatsapp. i went no contact. she unblock me. i still maintain no contact she blocked me again. 1 week of no contact. will she come back? we were very close. she may not be the best looking girl. but i love her. now i begged her to consider me but she’s did listen, she left and i was frustrated, i began searching for help and answers, then i heard about a man that can cast a spell to remind her of all the things we have been through together, at first I was scared then i decided to give it a try, and like magic my girlfriend came back, apology and begging for forgiveness, thanks to this man, I’m posting this to help people with similar issues, do not hesitate to email him.......
    Email him @.... happylovespell2@gmail.com
    Whatsapp him or better still call...+2348133873774
    You can also view on his Blogs site... https://happylovespell2.blogspot.com.ng/

    ReplyDelete

  9. Powerful Effective Love Spell Get Your Ex Back About a month ago I got back to my ex(after 2 and half years separated). Everything was ok and she was the most adorable woman in the world. she spoke about wedding ceremony, how many kids we would have, said that our relationship was the most important thing in her life and she was 100% sure about it…Then he traveled to work in other country for 3 weeks. she changed his behavior completely. she disappeared every night, was saying she had to do some work and would talk to me later, but disappeared the rest of the day and night… no explanation, when I asked why she was disappearing every night, she stopped answering me. she’s ignoring me since last week, April 15. she ignored even my birthday, that was April 16. Not even a message. I wrote to her a few times trying to understand what happened, she read but just ignored me.I feel so bad cause I couldn’t stop contacting and trying to understand what happened.i loved her so much and wanted to get her back, then i was told to contact agbadado@gmail.com who can help out with a love spell to reunite your relationship back, so instantly do contact him and give him a try and trust me he did an urgent effective love spell for me and with in 48hours promise he made to me, my woman was back, today i testify to you all that you should seek and contact Dr Ikhine for his spell result is genuine sure and guarantee unite and get your ex back
    save your marriage/relationship problem now,
    Email him now on.. agbadado@gmail.com
    If you want to talk for more info or consultation. Whatsapp/call +2347038832903

    ReplyDelete
  10. Powerful Effective Love Spell Get Your Ex Back About a month ago I got back to my ex(after 2 and half years separated). Everything was ok and she was the most adorable woman in the world. she spoke about wedding ceremony, how many kids we would have, said that our relationship was the most important thing in her life and she was 100% sure about it…Then he traveled to work in other country for 3 weeks. she changed his behavior completely. she disappeared every night, was saying she had to do some work and would talk to me later, but disappeared the rest of the day and night… no explanation, when I asked why she was disappearing every night, she stopped answering me. she’s ignoring me since last week, April 15. she ignored even my birthday, that was April 16. Not even a message. I wrote to her a few times trying to understand what happened, she read but just ignored me.I feel so bad cause I couldn’t stop contacting and trying to understand what happened.i loved her so much and wanted to get her back, then i was told to contact agbadado@gmail.com who can help out with a love spell to reunite your relationship back, so instantly do contact him and give him a try and trust me he did an urgent effective love spell for me and with in 48hours promise he made to me, my woman was back, today i testify to you all that you should seek and contact Dr Ikhine for his spell result is genuine sure and guarantee unite and get your ex back
    save your marriage/relationship problem now,
    Email him now on.. agbadado@gmail.com
    If you want to talk for more info or consultation. Whatsapp/call +2347038832903

    ReplyDelete
  11. Dr.Olu, you are indeed a miracle worker. I have tried so many spell casters and psychic after my husband left me and told me to go and see the attorney for the divorce just because his mother, my mother in-law wasn't in support of our marriage, she hated me for no reason and treated me like an outcast, my husband have been on my side since we got married early this year 2018 but since april he totally changed and started listening to his mother to divorce me. I have tried so many spell caster for help but there was no result after i wasted alot of money, i kept trying because i loved my husband so much and never wanted to lose him. After some days i came across Dr. Olu's contact on the internet and only Dr. Olu was the only spell caster that could guarantee me an urgent 24hours love spell casting.. and he assured me that my husband is coming back.. I trusted Dr. Olu, and its was more than a dream to see my husband back to my life with lots of apologies and love on the 7th of may this year 2018.... And he was remorseful for all his wrong actions, even my mother in-law came with her friends begging me to forgive her that she never knew why she hated me.. For sure this is really a miracle temple. Know more about Dr. Olu via his blog website: http://drolulovespellhome.blogspot.com/ or through his Email address: drolulovespellhome@gmail.com or drolulovespellhome@yahoo.com.. Add him on whatsapp or call him via his mobile: +2348067704010. Sir I'm grateful for restoring peace in my home.. Vivian Mark from Florida...

    ReplyDelete
  12. I NEED MY EX LOVER BACK TO ME EMAIL assurancesolutionhome@gmail.com whatsapp +1(424)-261-8520

    I contacted DR LARRY and he told me that my ex will come back to me in the next 4days, DR LARRY released him up to know how much i loved and wanted him. And opened his eyes to picture how much we have share together. My ex is now back to me again. As I`m writing this testimony right now I`m the most happiest Woman on earth and myself and my boyfriend are living a happy life and our love is now stronger than how it were even before our break up. All thanks goes to DR LARRY for the excessive work that he has done for me by helping me to get back with my ex boyfriend. I would like to drop DR LARRY website http://assurancesolutionhome.website2.me/ and hope you see this testimony and contact him if you have a lover that you really want back so badly, Email assurancesolutionhome@gmail.com or you can whatspp him on this Number +1(424)-261-8520 assurancesolutiohome.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete

LinkWithin

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...