Who Are You?: How Having a Baby Reminds Me of Our First Date

In my last post, I mentioned how I have feelings about this baby that are hard to explain. One way to explain a small part of this goes back to my first real date with Jordan. 

We had hung out numerous times in groups, and it was easy to see him since he lived in the building next to mine, but this was the first time he actually asked me out. (Which caused me to jump up and down on my bed like a 12 year old.)

So when Jordan and I went on our first date, he picked me up in "The White Blur" (a Chevy Cavalier Rally Sport) and took me to Noodles & Company at Cameron Village. I had never been there before. He ordered the mac & cheese with chicken and I did too. It's still what we get there.

He was wearing a yellow MTYC polo shirt. I had on a comfy, spring dress that was a mixture of purples, teals, and yellows. We were both starting to get tan as it was April and that's when everyone skips ahead to summer here in NC. 

We sat across from each other at a booth. I'm sure I was giggly as usual. Man, he was handsome. 

boyfriend & girlfriend in 2010 :) with him being ridiculous of course.

There are a couple things I vividly remember from that date. The first one is that after dinner we watched the movie Seven Pounds at my apartment. I had a separate sound system with speakers but the remote was dead, so I had to get up and adjust the volume until it was right. While I was up, Jordan smoothly put his left arm up on the back of the couch so it ended up behind me when I sat back down. So naturally I spent the next fifteen minutes to an hour wondering if he was trying to put his arm around me or not. (He was.) After the movie we sat there and talked for a long time and he told me a story about how he "ran away" from home when he was little taking his McGee & Me backpack full of necessities into the woods. I was pretty smitten. (Still am.)

The second thing I remember was at dinner. This isn't something that happened, but a feeling. As we were sitting there eating our mac & cheese and talking, I distinctly remember having an overwhelming feeling that I wanted to know every little thing about him. This feeling was so strong that it was like a physical weight on me, this question of "Who are you?" I had never been so intrigued by someone. It was exciting, but at the same time bewildering because at that point I barely knew anything. I wanted to know it all and I wanted to know it fast. I also realized how creepy this would sound if he could read my mind. So I waited until way, way later when we were engaged to tell him this. (4 months, HA!)

This is kinda how I feel about the baby. I am overwhelmed by him. He's a person, someone who is so physically close to me (using my body as a house is about as close as it gets) and yet I don't know him at all. There have been times when I've wondered out loud to him, "Who are you??" And when I'm testing out what we think his name will be I'll say, "Are you ______?" He is a mystery. 

But just like with Jordan, the mystery is what makes it awesome. I've had the incredible privilege of getting to know Jordan for five years now, and would love to continue to do so for as long as the Lord allows. 

And now I get to know a new Shelley guy. With his own personality and mysteries. Maybe some of the things I've learned about his dad will show up with him too. I hope so. 

What amazes me about all of this, is that as I'm wondering, "Who are you?" I can know that he is already fully known and loved by the One who created him. To God, my son isn't a mystery. 

Psalm 139:1-17

O Lord, You have searched me and known me!

You know what I sit down and when I rise up;

You discern my thoughts from afar.

You search out my path and my lying down

and are acquainted with all my ways.

Even before a word is on my tongue,

behold, O Lord, You know it altogether.

You hem me in, behind and before,

and lay Your hand upon me.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;

it is high; I cannot attain it.

Where shall I go from your Spirit?

Or where shall I flee from Your presence?

If I ascend to heaven, You are there!

If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!

If I take the wings of the morning

and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,

even there Your hand shall lead me,

and Your right hand shall hold me.

If I say, "Surely the darkness shall cover me,

and the light about me be night,"

even the darkness is not dark to You;

the night is bright as the day,

for darkness is as light with You.

For You formed my inward parts;

You knitted me together in my mother's womb.

I praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

Wonderful are Your works;

my soul knows it very well.

My frame was not hidden from You,

when I was being made in secret,

intricately woven in the depths of the earth.

Your eyes saw my unformed substance;

in Your book were written, every one of them,

the days that were formed for me,

when as yet there was none of them.

How precious to me are Your thoughts, O God!

How vast is the sum of them!

This comforts me, amazes me, and causes me to worship. Who am I that the Lord would want to know me, know everything about me, and still love me? And my husband. And my son. It is grace upon grace. Praise His Name!

31 Days of Respecting my Husband

Respecting men, specifically my husband, is something that the Lord has laid on my heart in the past few years. And when I say He has laid it on my heart, I mean He's convicted me like crazy about it.

I've been married for two and a half years now and have barely grazed the surface of what respecting my husband looks like. This is a chance for me to dive deeply into the subject and learn more about how God calls me to treat my husband. 

I'm joining in on The Nester's 31 Day Challenge and writing about respecting my husband. For 31 days I will write about this topic and preach to MYSELF. 

(See the bottom of this post for all 31 days!)

If it challenges you as well, then great. But honestly? This subject is directed toward ME. So just know that I am no expert. I am a servant of the Lord wanting to learn more about this amazing calling He has placed in my life - being a wife. 

Before you read this series, you should probably read this post about how marriage isn't everything. The gospel is everything. Marriage is just one of the many ways God gives us a picture of His plan of redemption - His grace, love, and sacrifice.

ANYTHING good that I can do for my husband is through the Lord's grace. It is not of my own doing. What a relief! It's not about my performance. I don't have to work harder to earn favor from God or my husband. But that relationship with the Lord and with my husband motivates me to serve them - out of LOVE. I hope that makes sense. I want to keep that in mind as I study this topic - this isn't a checklist of things to do in my marriage. It's a way to brainstorm how I can love the Lord and my husband through His grace.

Here is an excellent reminder of that in Scripture: "For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them." - Ephesians 2:8-10

I'm not saved BY good works, I'm saved FOR good works.

Alright. So let's get into it.

Why should I respect my husband?

Ephesians 5:22-24,31-33

"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands."

"'Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.' This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife she that she respects her husband."

1 Peter 3:1-4

"Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external - the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear - but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious."

As you can see in these passages, God commands me to respect my husband. In today's culture, that may seem like a negative thing. "Respect" and "submit" aren't words that are thrown around in magazines when talking about relationships. Actually, it's usually quite the opposite. Messages of taking charge and getting what you want out of a relationship are shoved in our faces daily. Why is this? Because we are selfish. I am selfish. Bottom line.

Respecting my husband goes even deeper than marriage. It goes back to putting others before myself. To laying my desires down for God's glory and the benefit of others. Showing sacrificial love. This all relates to respecting my husband. It's a GOOD thing. So let's put any negative and worldly connotations aside when looking into this. 

This means respecting him regardless of HIS performance. This isn't about him deserving my respect. It's about treating him this way unconditionally. Unless I am in a dangerous situation that I need to get out of (which I should discuss with my church leaders if that ever were to happen), I should respect my husband.

But you know what one of the amazing things are about this? Respecting my husband motivates him to love me better. What a wonderful side effect! That doesn't mean everything will be perfect and that there won't be trials or problems, but it does mean that my respectful actions and attitude will make me more lovable. 

The rest of the month we will focus on the HOW. We will talk about practical ways to respect. Today is all about the WHY:

• For the glory of God.
• Because God commands me to respect my husband.
• Out of love for the Lord and my spouse.
• To get to know both God and my husband better.
• To further the gospel.
• To be more lovable. 

You can follow me along in this subject if you want - but like I said, it's for me. :) 

If you're wondering if I've ever written about this before, I have - I did, back before we got married! It's fun to look back and see what I was thinking and dwelling on a few years ago. God has been working in me a lot since then. (And always will be!)

Let me know if you're linking up with #31days!

Day 2: Respecting His Words
Day 3: Respecting Him in How I Talk About Him
Day 4: Respecting His Work
Day 5: Respecting His Family
Day 6: Respecting His Friends
Day 7: Respecting His Desire for Me (Sex)
Day 8: Respecting His Kingdom (Home)
Day 9: Respecting Our Time Together

7 Thoughts From Jordan About Me and Marriage.

We had an awesome one year anniversary on Monday!

Thank you for all of your sweet comments. :) 

We went to Tasu Asian Bistro and it was DELICIOUS. 

I got sushi of course and my man got teriyaki chicken. So so good.

And he tried some of my sushi and didn't not like it. Haha. And he eats it the proper way...unlike me. If you're an intense sushi eater you could NOT eat it with me. I cut it in half and destroy it before I eat it. With a fork.

Then we got frozen yogurt. Sweet Frog is so yummy!

Okay so in honor of our anniversary Jordan did a tiny little interview for me. :) Enjoy. His words will be in blue. 

1. Name some memorable times from this first year.

Hawaii, beach trips, Christmas, your hair color changing.

2. What has been the most surprising thing about marriage this first year?

How unselfish you have to learn how to be. And even though I’m right all of the time, I can’t always say it.

3. What have you learned about me that you didn’t know before we got married?

You’re grumpy in the mornings.

4. How much do you think my cooking skills have improved in this year?

It went from a 3 out of 10 to 6 out of 10. Actually 6 ½. And that ½ is based on that spaghetti dish you made.

(He's talking about this baked spaghetti dish from Ruthie Hart! Thanks, Ruthie! Go check it out and make your cooking rating go up. Haha.)

5. Okay, here’s the big question: blonde or brunette?

I honestly like them both. I like whatever it is. I dated and married a blonde but now I’ve been married to a brunette for longer.

(This tells me nothing. Haha. But I'm glad he likes both!)

6. What has been the best thing about marriage so far?

Having that companionship and friendship that’s always there and sharing experiences with my best friend, whether they’re good or bad. And having a godly foundation together that not only brings us closer to God but closer to each other.

7. What are you most looking forward to in the next year of marriage?

Going to the Outer Banks this weekend. Haha. Seeing what adventures we’ll get to partake in, the memories we’ll make, and finding out how God wants to use us this year.

I sure do love being married to that man. 

And I'm still loving this anniversary week! The celebration continues. :)

 

best year of my life.

One year ago I married my hero.

One year ago I vowed to be his helpmate for the rest of my life.

One year ago we became one in Christ.

One year ago I started life as Mrs. Jordan Shelley.

I could not be more blessed to be married to this amazing man of God.

He is my spiritual leader, supporter, provider.

My very best friend.

I never knew I could be so close to someone,

or admire someone so much.

I thank the Lord every day for this awesome gift of marriage. And for creating my handsome man.

This week I'll talk about some things I've learned in this first year, and also some things Jordan has learned. :) Tonight I'll be enjoying a night out with my man, and then this weekend we're taking a trip to the Outer Banks! So excited!

Thank you, readers, for following me through this journey and encouraging me along the way. I am truly thankful for you and your support. I hope I can share with you many more years of marriage to come!

book review: 3 of my favorite devotionals.

I got an email suggesting that I share some of my favorite devotionals/books from time to time and I think that is an excellent idea. :) I am always more spiritually challenged and uplifted when I have a specific devotional or Bible study book that I'm reading along with my Bible reading. It helps me so much.

There are also some good ones for married couples, too. I won't make it only for married people, though! :)

Today I'll share three of the recent devotionals I've been reading. I may have already talked about them a little bit before, but they're good enough to mention again!

Night Light

you can get it here!

This devotional is for married couples and is what we started out reading as soon as we got married. It has a page long devotional for 90 days with questions at the bottom of each one about different topics. 
What I loved about it was that the devotions were challenging and the questions provoked good conversation between me and Jordan. Stuff that a lot of the time we normally wouldn't talk about. 
We read it together before bed each night, and there were nights that I was in tears because of it. Either because it hit home and I really needed to hear what it had said, or because I learned something that I never knew I was doing wrong in our relationship, or because it helped me express something to Jordan. 
For instance, frequently men have a harder time expressing themselves in the most clear way to us because they talk a LOT less than us about feelings and such, and they may not be used to it. But with this book, there were times that Jordan totally agreed with what it was saying and said that was how he felt, he just never knew how to put it into the right words.
Also frequently men have a hard time understanding us because, let's face it, we can be downright crazy and hard to figure out. The book definitely helped me express some feelings that I was having in a way that made sense to him. Awesome for both of us.
I want to go through it again someday because it would be like reading a whole new book after we've been married for longer. I think it would be beneficial no matter what stage of marriage you're in!

The Resolution for Women

you can get it here!

This is a book by Priscilla Shirer that isn't really a devotional, but can be used as one. It's for any woman, any stage of life, any relationship status.

Have you seen the movie Courageous? I FINALLY saw it last night. It was definitely inspiring. And I'm proud to know the main kid in the movie. :) He goes to the school where I coach and he is awesome. Anyway, in the movie the men/husbands/fathers make a resolution that is based on Scripture of how to be men of God and live their daily lives that way in all of their roles. They made a book about it called The Resolution for Men, and then they made one for women! Yay! 

It's only $10 and worth it for sure. I've been taking it slow because there are individual sections about each resolution, and at the end of the resolution you sign your name under it and commit to it. Not something to take lightly or to rush through. 

For example, one resolution that really hit me hard was about being content in every season of life. I have a habit of always looking too much toward the future instead of focusing on the here and now and how I can glorify God TODAY. That section has truly helped me and I've gone back to it a few times. All of the sections are amazing, though. 

The Power of a Praying Wife Devotional

you can get it here!

There is a book called The Power of a Praying Wife which I have never read, but the author then turned it into a devotional and added to it. So I got the devotional instead of the book. This has short, daily devotions for wives.

When I got married, I knew I should start praying for Jordan in a different way now that we were one in Christ and that I was officially his helpmate. (Still makes me smile when I think about it! I sure do love that man.) 

I got this book at Lifeway, mainly because it was on sale, haha. But I have definitely enjoyed it. It prompts me to pray for Jordan about things that I wouldn't think of on my own. It helps me pray for him using Scripture and about him leading us spiritually. And it convicts me about the kind of wife I am being. I definitely recommend it, especially coming from someone who struggles with prayer and staying focused!

If you have any questions about any of these books, don't hesitate to ask! There will be more recommendations coming in the future. :)

What are some devotionals/books that you would recommend for me?

The Real Housewives of the Blog World: Megan!

I finally get to share Episode 3 of The Real Housewives of the Blog World with you!

Megan is a sweet beauty who loves the Lord and inspires me CONSTANTLY. I seriously love reading her blog and I wish that she lived close because I know we'd hang out all the time. I'm so happy to have her over here today! Enjoy!


1. Introduce yourself and your lovely blog!

hey girl, I’m megan!

I blog over at and today was a fairy tale.

here’s a few things about me: -I love Jesus -I’m a newlywed to the most amazing man alive. -I’m a student, volunteer youth leader, and photographer. -my family is numero uno in my life. -I’m always the loudest one in the group. -I smile more than I frown. -I can see the beach from my balcony.

2. How old are you?

22 years young! 23 in about a month and a half! {the hubs is 26}

3. How long have you been married?

it will be one year in january (the 22). 10 months of marriage bliss :]

{no  big deal, just a horse drawn carriage}

4. Do you have a favorite Bible verse pertaining to marriage or being a wife, or one that has been a consistent encouragement through your marriage?

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
1 Corinthians 13:4-7

{if you can replace the word love with your spouses or significant others name…you know it’s real love}

“Her clothes are well-made and elegant, and she always faces tomorrow with a smile. When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say, and she always says it kindly…The woman to be admired and praised is the woman who lives in the fear of God.”
Proverbs 31: 26/27, 31
{learning to always look forward is so important. dwelling on the past gets you no where, and clouds the way for something really worth while from God…plus smiling is my favorite :]}

 

 

5. Do you have a favorite book about marriage, being a wife, or being a godly woman that you could share with us?

 

 

 

Now please tell us three things you’ve learned about marriage or married life!

1. never go to bed angry! seriously. things aren’t picture perfect when you get married and there will be bumps in the road…but it’s how you handle those bumps together that matters.

2. worrying about money does you no good. it doesn’t make it appear faster, or begin to grow on trees. figuring out a budget early on is important. pulling all your bills together and having that tough convo about money has to happen or you’re headed for disaster.

3. the honeymoon doesn’t ever “have to be over”. keep the excitement and spice in your marriage going! just because you’re married doesn’t mean you cant do fun things together anymore. have one night a week set aside for dates, or something else that gets you out of the house.

  {this is on our honeymoon :)}

 

lastly, give us one piece of wife advice so we can learn from you!

never be ashamed to tell your husband that you love God more than him. once I figured out that I loved God more than my husband, I realized just how much I could love my husband. and hope in return that he loves God more than he loves you…and thank him for that, don’t get jealous. 


a special thanks to ashley for having me on here! you're beautiful girl, and it's such a blessing to call you a friend!




I just love her and how she's on fire for the Lord. Those Proverbs 31 verses really hit me today. It's so important to choose my words carefully and speak them with kindness - especially while being respectful to my husband.

I LOVED When God Writes Your Love Story...I read that in high school and also right before I started dating Jordan. I think it's an awesome book for any age and it was sooo encouraging when I was wondering if I would ever meet and love a man of God. I need to read the other book she suggested - sounds excellent.

Also, that is so true about money. I know that graduating from Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University really helped us and made us have those conversations early. I highly suggest it!

Thank you so much, Megan! Hop on over to her blog and check her out! :)

*Don't forget about my giveaway which ends next week!

"Wait. You're not ready yet." (our love story)

As promised yesterday, today I will give you more info on how Jordan + Ashley came to be. 
In timeline fashion.
And speaking of myself in the third person. If this bothers you, I apologize, but it'll be better this way.
Okay, I'll just jump right in to our births. Haha.

• 1988 - Jordan and Ashley are born in two different NC cities to amazing sets of loving parents.
• These families happen to know each other. They go wayyy back. Both families are involved in church assemblies and go to the same Bible Conference each summer. Ashley's parents met and fell in love at the Bible Conference. Would Ashley have the same fate??
• 1989 - Ashley visits the Bible Conference as a 1 year old with her parents. Jordan's family is absent. Therefore they aren't together in the nursery. So unfortunately they don't meet and fall in love there. Probably a good thing since they aren't actually walking at the time. Nursery romances - although sometimes longer than certain celebrities' relationships - tend to fall apart before the age of three.

...And God says, "Wait. You're not ready yet."

• 1990-2000 - Ashley's family doesn't go to the conference anymore. Jordan's family does. For twelve or thirteen years, they never see each other in person. They only hear whispers of each other's names during "Do you know so-and-so" questions from mutual peers. Jordan becomes friends with Ashley's cousins at the conference. Don't they both go to Mountain Top Youth Camp?? You may ask. As Tim Curry would say in Clue: I'm getting there, I'm getting there.
• 1994 - Ashley accepts Jesus Christ as her Savior!
• 1995ish - Jordan accepts Jesus Christ as his Savior!
• 1997ish-2000 - Both Jordan and Ashley attend Mountain Top Youth Camp as youngsters. Jordan goes to the boys' camps, and Ashley goes to the girls'. Their paths do not cross. Ashley stops going to camp right before she becomes co-ed age. 

...And God says, "Wait. You're not ready yet."

• 2001-2002 - Ashley and Jordan go to the same church youth rallies. They know the same people there. They see each other. They still do not officially meet.
• 2003-2005 - They live their high school lives hanging out with friends, playing sports, loving basketball, trying to figure out what a relationship with God really means.
• 2006 - They graduate from high school and decide to go to NC State University. This is where it gets interesting. Ashley rooms with her cousin's cousin - who is friends with Jordan. On an extremely hot August day, the day before classes start, Jordan meets up with the girls to explore the huge campus and find where their classes are. He rides his bike and is extremely sweaty. Ashley finds him attractive and notices how nice his calf muscles are. They are finally introduced. Ashley's mom stops by to help her buy her books and talks to Jordan about his family. She comments under her breath to her daughter how cute Jordan is. He is definitely a nice guy, but seems kind of shy. He visits their dorm room and wishes them a great first day of freshman year. Ashley wonders if she'll get to know him more.

...And God says, "Wait. You're not ready yet."

• 2006-2009 - Jordan and Ashley remain merely acquaintances. Occasionally they see each other walking around campus. Jordan actually joins an intramural flag football team with a bunch of guys Ashley knows. She sees his name pop up on Facebook from time to time.
• 2009: July - Ashley receives a happy birthday wall post from Jordan. She happens to click on his Facebook. "Woah," she thinks. "He's really gotten...HOT." No longer was Jordan the shy freshman from that day back in '06. He's turned into...a man. Why hadn't she noticed before?? Should she try to talk to him? How would that work? Should she send a little "thank you" for the birthday message? Yes. She does that.

• Is this it? Is this when they realize that they are meant to be? Does Ashley continue the Facebook conversation? For some reason, she doesn't. She knows Jordan as this awesome guy who doesn't date anyone. She thinks he would never, ever like her. 

...And God says, "Wait. You're not ready yet."

• 2009: September - Through various happenstances, Jordan and Ashley realize they live in the apartment buildings right next to each other. Only a parking lot separates them. This comes in handy when Ashley gets to her place one night and the door is wide open. She freaks out because her roommate is gone, and who comes to her rescue? Jordan. He walks right in and checks every room and closet. He makes sure everything is okay and that Ashley has nothing to worry about. She calls him her "hero" for the first time. They joke about how he could've taken any bad guys out no problem.

• 2009: November - Jordan and Ashley are officially friends. They see each other sometimes in group settings, he comes to some Hurricanes games, they have each other's phone numbers. They take their first picture together at a football game. Ashley's aunt (who knows Jordan from those Bible conferences) comments on the picture and says "Well...". Hint Hint. Ashley laughs it off. 

First picture together ever.

• 2010: January - Ashley is newly single. And not looking. Not wanting anything to do with a relationship. The Lord has given her quite a few wake up calls, and she finally finds her satisfaction in Him. Jordan is still her friend. Her extremely good looking, smart, hilarious, godly friend. She still thinks she would never stand a chance.

...And God says, "Wait. You're not ready yet."

• 2010: February/March - Jordan sends Ashley a Facebook event invite to the NCSU "Mr. Engineer Pageant" that he is participating in. To his surprise, Ashley comes with her best friend Maggie. When Jordan sings during the talent portion, Ashley leans over and tells Maggie that she wants him. All joking aside, she really did. Ashley briefly meets Jordan's parents that night. She tries to make a good impression. She doesn't know why she's letting herself start to fall for him. But as she's grown closer to God, what she desires in a man has changed. She finds herself desiring Jordan in a way she never knew she could feel.
• 2010: April - Jordan texts Ashley. A lot. Ashley texts back. A lot. They hang out in group settings. They play board games. They watch movies. They watch Sports Center. A whole lot of Sports Center. And finally....Jordan asks Ashley out to dinner. Ashley literally jumps up and down on her bed with excitement.

...And God says, "Now. You're ready."

• 2010: April-August - Jordan shows Ashley what a relationship should really be. He makes her laugh like she's never laughed before. He spends quality time with her, getting to know everything about her. She becomes more honest with him than she's ever been with anyone. She opens up and although it scares her, she falls harder every day. Jordan accepts her for who she is, treats her as his sister in Christ, and forgives her for her mistakes. He takes time to read God's Word with her and pray with her regularly. He helps her through one of the hardest times of her life. She learns that being treated with a godly love is far different than anything this world offers. She tells him that he's her "hero". Jordan tells her that she is a treasure and worth being cherished and respected. They never use the L word, both having made the commitment to save it for their future spouses. But even though they don't say it, they know.
• 2010: August - Jordan realizes that he wants to marry Ashley, talks to his family about it, asks her dad, gets a ring, plans a trip, and surprises Ashley with a proposal in Boston all in a week. Shock of Ashley's life. He tells her that he loves her. She tells him right back.

...And God says, "This is what I've prepared you for your entire lives. Unite as one, and serve Me together."

• 2011: March 19th - This is it. After all those times of missed opportunities, after the many years of obliviously walking past each other, after all of the days wondering why they couldn't find "the one", God puts them right where they belong. At the perfect time. 

You see, if Jordan and Ashley had met in the nursery, or at camp, or the youth rallies, or if their friendship had begun that first year of college, they wouldn't have been ready. God knew that a lot of refining had to take place. In HIS time. He knew that they would finally come together on this very day. He had it all planned out. He had to make sure they were ready. And on March 19, 2011, the Shelley family was established. The love story was clear. Our Lord proved His complete sovereignty and grace. 

I wake up every day and thank God for this love story. Tears come to my eyes when I dwell on how He led me here. I am so undeserving of the love my Savior shows me and the love my hero shows me. Which makes me even more grateful that the love is a gift and has nothing to do with my deeds or merits.

I urge you, reader, to please accept nothing less than this kind of love. First of all, our Savior Jesus Christ is waiting on you with open arms. God sent His Son as a sacrifice - to take the punishment that we should receive for our sins. He rose from the grave and is a living, active God. He offers forgiveness and grace. He wants you to follow Him. He is calling you. He loves you with a love that is not attainable here on earth. Before you can truly experience godly earthly love, you have to be completely satisfied and fulfilled by Christ's love. Which I am still learning about, and will forever. 

Secondly, only give your heart to a man who loves you God's way. Someone who treasures you and treats you like you should be treated. Someone who will lead you closer to the Lord, and who cares about your personal relationship with God more than your romantic relationship with himself.

This song from the movie Tangled gets me every time. I know it's from a Disney movie, but it really does capture how I felt when Jordan began pursuing a relationship with me. It was like "the fog was lifted". Okay I could quote the whole thing but just listen to it and see what I mean.

God authors the most beautiful, divinely orchestrated love stories. I hope that ours can give you hope and show you how His plan is perfect. 

writing about our love story.

I've gotten numerous emails, messages, and comments asking me about our "love story". 
I know that I've never really laid it all out there in a story format, and if this truly concerns you then I will discuss it with you in detail privately. Haha. But seriously I think it's really sweet that people want to actually know our story. Because it was written by the best writer of all time of course. (If you don't know who I'm referring to then I'll just say it starts with a capital G and ends with an od.)
And I have written about parts of how our relationship came to be, here's a few of the posts:

• about when we starting "dating"
• about our engagement
• about approval
• about finding "the one"

But ya know, there are just some things a girl's gotta keep private. There are certain circumstances in our series of events that I just don't feel a need to blog about. In order for me to blog about them I would have to include people who may not want to be included. And I don't want to disrespect anyone.

Most importantly, I never ever ever ever ever infinity ever want to disrespect my husband on this blog. If that ever happened I would delete the post, apologize, and refocus my blogging. I'm not one to complain a lot because I think it's a waste of time anyway, but you will not read any complaints from me about what Jordan does do or doesn't do or whatever. Unless it's not serious at all and we joke about it and I absolutely know for sure that he wouldn't mind. (Like when I wrote about little pet peeves.) 

I don't want to embarrass him, or share too much, or tell you every little thing about our life together. It's just not worth it. I can write that in my personal journal if I want to.

Oh don't worry, I'll tell you all kinds of horrible, embarrassing things about myself that happen as I learn how to be a wife. I just want to be careful when talking about us or Jordan or anything that he would not like to be on the world wide web.

People have said that from reading my blog it sounds like Jordan is "perfect". And they're right. He is.

Haha, justttt kidding. He's perfect for me but he's not perfect. If that makes sense. But I understand why they would say that. Because I don't write bad stuff about him on here!

I don't talk badly about Jordan to anyone, so don't feel left out. Not even my cats. It just shouldn't happen. If I'm ever talking to one of my best friends about something that may be negative in our relationship, it's because I'm seeking advice about how to be a better wife. Some people think "venting" is okay and that you're just getting it off your chest, but I can vent to God if I want to! I'm not going to disrespect my husband by talking badly about him. If I do - call me out on it please.

So ANYWAY, with all that said, I will give you a little more info about our love story. It's not going to be the juicy, scandalous story you're hoping for, but it'll explain more about how we met and how God's timing is perfect and all that. 

So come back tomorrow if you are one of those people who want to know more about our love story! :) 

Thought I'd just throw a few engagement pictures in there for y'all's viewing pleasure. Neil Boyd Photography is awesome.

being a Buffaloe bridesmaid.

Two weeks ago I had the honor of being in the wedding of one of my best friends. She married a great guy who I've known since middle school. We all went to the same middle and high school but they never really met until last year. All those years of walking the halls with her future husband and she had no idea! 
God's ways are awesome. And His timing is perfect. Britney and Ricky are a testament to that.
In the summer of 2010, Britney came over to my apartment one day. We talked about how we were growing up and the uncertainty that lay before us. We shared dreams of godly marriages. We prayed about our lives and our future. 
We both started dating our future husbands that summer. :)
It's crazy to think that I've known both of them for so long and never even thought about them getting together. But that summer, when they started dating, it all clicked. Britney was meant to be a Buffaloe.
I'm so thankful for this couple and their union in Christ. I'm thankful for our sweet friendship. I'm thankful for the loving family she married into, because they are fabulous people. 
The wedding day was fantastic! I'll let the pictures do the talking.

Me and the beautiful bride before the ceremony! 

her bouquet

our pretty flowers

we call ourselves the A.S.C. :) long story.

loved the centerpieces

cake done by Cinda's Creative Cakes! she did mine too but I'll talk about that later. :)

my family!

the happy couple

my stud and me

I love you, Britney! Thank you for letting me be a part of your day!

it's okay to let relationships go.

When someone is mad at me or upset with me, it drives me crazy. 

Don't worry, we were just acting in this picture,
but sometimes those facial expressions are accurate in relationships.

Actually, someone doesn't even have to be mad...it's like if a relationship changes at all I freak out about it. I think that it MUST be something I have done wrong.
I think about every solution possible, what I should do, what I can say, what I should have done differently, and so on and so on.
I have been known to dwell on the question, "Is that person mad at me? Why doesn't he/she talk to me anymore?" for YEARS. Years, people.
And this is not past tense. This is something that drives me crazy presently. 
I also feel like I need to see all of my friends somewhat regularly or I'm going to lose them.  It's like - Ohmyword. I haven't seen this person in 2.4 weeks. We're growing apart. I need to talk to her. I don't even know what she's been doing this month. We have to get lunch now. WE HAVE TO GET LUNCH BEFORE THIS FALLS APART. I need to call her. She's not answering. I'll text her. She'll NEVER want to get lunch again because I've let too much time pass. I'M A HORRIBLE FRIEND.
That's not much of an exaggeration. It sounds like a middle school girl who is freaking out about a boy she has a crush on. I have a problem.
The Bible gave me a little wake up call last night. As it tends to do since it's God's Word and all. At church we were talking about Romans 12 (AMAZING chapter, go read it) and this verse jumped out at me:
"If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all."Romans 12:18
God does not condone dwelling on broken relationships forever. 
God does not tell us to straight up "live peaceably with all". No.
He says IF POSSIBLE.
He also says SO FAR AS IT DEPENDS ON YOU.
Those two little clauses punched me in the face. Hard.
This implies that sometimes it's just not possible. Sometimes I've done everything I can do in a relationship and I just have to let it go.
And it's OKAY to let go.It's okay to realize I've done all I can do.It's okay to drift apart because it's inevitable sometimes.It's okay to never know why someone doesn't talk to me anymore.It's okay that the relationship doesn't depend on me anymore.It's okay to miss a friendship but not dwell on it.It's okay to make new friends.
It's okay.
I don't have to freak out. Which doesn't mean that I won't anymore, but I just need to remind myself of this and that short but meaningful little verse. I think this also relates to my struggle with wanting approval.
Does anyone else have this problem or one like it? I'd love to know I'm not the only one!


You know what, I said "it's okay" so many times that I might as well add this to the "It's Ok Thursdays" link-up.  :)

The Real Housewives of the Blog World: Lauren!

It's time for Episode 2 of The Real Housewives of the Blog World!


Featuring: Lauren from WIFESTYLES! 


I'm honored to have this beautiful girl with us and hope that you'll learn from her sweet words.

1. Introduce us to yourself and your lovely blog!

Hey there! I'm Lauren! :)

I blog over at WIFESTYLES

I'm a fun-loving newlywed, full of big dreams!

I'm an aspiring wedding/event planner.

But for now I'm a nanny.

My husband has my entire heart.

Jesus is my Savior.

My family is my support.

I smile often.

I live each day as if it were my last.

2. How old are you? You can just give us a range if you'd like. :)

I'm 20! {Vegas ready on the 4th of May!}

Husband- 24!

3. How long have you been married?

October 27th marks our 2 month anniversary!

4. Do you have a favorite Bible verse or passage pertaining to to marriage or being a wife, or one that has been a consistent encouragement through your marriage?

"You should be known for the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God."
1 Peter 3:3-4

"In the same way, their wives are to be women worthy of respect, not malicious talkers but temperate and trustworthy in everything."
1 Timothy 3:11

"A worthy wife is her husband's joy and crown; a shameful wife saps his strength."
Proverbs 12:4

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
1 Corinthians 13:4-7

5. Do you have a favorite book about marriage, being a wife, or being a godly woman that you could suggest for us?

All three are amazing!

Now, please tell us three things you've learned about marriage or married life!

1. I read this in the middle book ^ but it's SO true and helpful...

your husband longs for your respect more than he longs for your love and affection.

2. Your husband loves you more once you're his "wife."

This is really hard for me to explain but it's just something I've noticed in our relationship.

His love for me has grown since we've been married.

3. Marriage is the best thing you'll ever experience!

Your spouse at times knows you better than you know yourself.

{It's weird, but in a good way!}

Lastly, give us one piece of wife advice so we can learn from you!

"If perfect's what you're searching for then just stay the same."

Ladies,

don't kill yourself trying to be the "perfect wife" for your husband.

1. The "perfect wife" doesn't exist.

 2. He loves you just the way you are!

Promise :)

Ashley, thank you SO much for having me!

I enjoyed posting for you so much!

This series is brilliant! What a great idea!!! :) 


Thank you, Lauren!


I think it's amazing how much you can learn in just two months of marriage. I know I learned a whole lot in just two weeks! Haha. And I've never stopped learning.


Those verses she shared are not only inspiring, but they're CONVICTING! There are many times when I don't have a gentle and quiet spirit. And I absolutely want to be my husband's joy and crown. These are excellent verses for me to meditate on this week! I'm so glad she shared them.


I also appreciate her words about not trying to be perfect. I do that...a lot. And I can get so down because of it, even when Jordan is telling me that it's just fine that we have to eat lettuce-less tacos because I forgot to buy it. Or something little like that, that I think RUINED the meal or the day or whatever. He doesn't expect me to be perfect. Also it's quite impossible.


I'm so thankful that Lauren could share with us and I'm looking forward to our next episode! Now go check her blog out. :)

PS - Go enter my bird giveaway so I'm not tempted to keep that cute stuff.