Marriage Isn't Everything.

Y'all know I love marriage. You know I love to talk about it. (Hence the blog name Christian Wife Life). You KNOW I love how it's a beautiful picture of the gospel. And I hope it's obvious that I adore my husband.

BUT...marriage isn't everything.
While one of my biggest goals of this blog is to encourage fellow believers in marriage and talk about the journey of learning to be a godly wife (through grace), that doesn't mean it's the best thing you can do in life. It doesn't mean that your top aspiration as a woman should be marriage and nothing else. Not. At. All.
It's good to talk about those things. It's COMMANDED to talk about those things. (Titus 2:3-5) 
But the most important goal in life? Whether you're married, single, divorced, widowed, dating, separated, engaged, it's complicated (okay now I'm just listing Facebook relationship statuses)....is to glorify God and make much of Jesus Christ as a redeemed, forgiven, renewed woman covered in grace. 
You, yes YOU, were put on earth RIGHT now for THIS time you are in. It is no mistake, no accident. You are loved, you are made by God, you are given your talents, quirks, qualities, and attributes in a completely unique way. God sent His Son Jesus Christ for us in spite of our brokenness and faults. (Rom. 5:8) We could NEVER be perfect, but Jesus was. We don't have to perform or do a list of good deeds to earn His love or a ticket to heaven. (Titus 3:4-6, Eph. 2:8-9) All we have to do is accept His free gift of forgiveness and salvation and follow Him. (Matt. 16:24-26) We get to have a relationship with Him NOW because of this gift! And then spend eternity with God too. Wow. Dwell on this. Remind yourself of it EVERY DAY.
You know what else we don't have to do to please God? Get married.
I think we (believers) put marriage on a pedestal sometimes. And while it's a good thing - something that can honor God greatly - it's not the end-all be-all of a Christian woman's life.
Single women: There is nothing wrong with you because you're not married! (There are plenty of things wrong with all of us because we're all sinners, but singleness in itself is not one of them.) You can serve and glorify the Lord just as you are. Married women and single women can serve together; we don't have to separate into different groups.
Singleness doesn't equal "a time of waiting". Yes, God does give us times of waiting, but that doesn't mean every single girl is in one right now. These times can be at ANY point in our lives. God is refining and shaping your life through the power of the gospel and the Holy Spirit while you are single OR married.
When you're single, you should focus on loving the Lord with all your heart, mind, and soul. (Matt. 22:37-38) And when you're married you should focus on..... the same thing! That doesn't change! Priorities after that first one may change, but the number one stays the same. 
This brings me to wives and how we look at marriage.
Sometimes I tend to think of marriage as something that is just for my enjoyment. Ahhhh, love, isn't it great? Isn't it beautiful? Isn't it....a huge blow to my ego? Yes. All of the above. Going back to that #1 goal - the glory of God - marriage is no different. Therefore, marriage should happen to make much of Jesus.
I am speaking from my own experience - marriage is sanctifying process. God uses it to refine me, that's for sure. When I look at my husband and think, "Isn't he cute? What can he do for ME? How can he please ME?" I get a huge reality check. Marriage is a prime opportunity to put the second most important goal into practice - loving others. Putting another's needs above my own. (Matt. 22:39) It's not to be taken lightly. 
When I got married, I started noticing things about myself that I hadn't before - I like Ramen noodles too much. I leave dishes in the sink too long. I stay up too late. I procrastinate way too much. I'm SELFISH. I can be a really bad communicator. I can be a horribly whiny girl. I'm messy. (Oh wait, I already knew that one...)
God is using marriage to make me LESS selfish. To challenge me. To point out my brokenness even more and show me my dire need for a Savior. To help me practice self-sacrificing love, forgiveness, service, respect. To show me that although I think my husband is the most amazing man in the world, he's not perfect. He will disappoint me because he's human and a sinner as well. And honestly - learning those things is NOT fun. But I'm not married just for fun. I'm married to glorify God.
You're married to glorify God.
You're single to glorify God.
You're in whatever state you are in currently to glorify God.
THAT is everything.

book review: 3 of my favorite devotionals.

I got an email suggesting that I share some of my favorite devotionals/books from time to time and I think that is an excellent idea. :) I am always more spiritually challenged and uplifted when I have a specific devotional or Bible study book that I'm reading along with my Bible reading. It helps me so much.

There are also some good ones for married couples, too. I won't make it only for married people, though! :)

Today I'll share three of the recent devotionals I've been reading. I may have already talked about them a little bit before, but they're good enough to mention again!

Night Light

you can get it here!

This devotional is for married couples and is what we started out reading as soon as we got married. It has a page long devotional for 90 days with questions at the bottom of each one about different topics. 
What I loved about it was that the devotions were challenging and the questions provoked good conversation between me and Jordan. Stuff that a lot of the time we normally wouldn't talk about. 
We read it together before bed each night, and there were nights that I was in tears because of it. Either because it hit home and I really needed to hear what it had said, or because I learned something that I never knew I was doing wrong in our relationship, or because it helped me express something to Jordan. 
For instance, frequently men have a harder time expressing themselves in the most clear way to us because they talk a LOT less than us about feelings and such, and they may not be used to it. But with this book, there were times that Jordan totally agreed with what it was saying and said that was how he felt, he just never knew how to put it into the right words.
Also frequently men have a hard time understanding us because, let's face it, we can be downright crazy and hard to figure out. The book definitely helped me express some feelings that I was having in a way that made sense to him. Awesome for both of us.
I want to go through it again someday because it would be like reading a whole new book after we've been married for longer. I think it would be beneficial no matter what stage of marriage you're in!

The Resolution for Women

you can get it here!

This is a book by Priscilla Shirer that isn't really a devotional, but can be used as one. It's for any woman, any stage of life, any relationship status.

Have you seen the movie Courageous? I FINALLY saw it last night. It was definitely inspiring. And I'm proud to know the main kid in the movie. :) He goes to the school where I coach and he is awesome. Anyway, in the movie the men/husbands/fathers make a resolution that is based on Scripture of how to be men of God and live their daily lives that way in all of their roles. They made a book about it called The Resolution for Men, and then they made one for women! Yay! 

It's only $10 and worth it for sure. I've been taking it slow because there are individual sections about each resolution, and at the end of the resolution you sign your name under it and commit to it. Not something to take lightly or to rush through. 

For example, one resolution that really hit me hard was about being content in every season of life. I have a habit of always looking too much toward the future instead of focusing on the here and now and how I can glorify God TODAY. That section has truly helped me and I've gone back to it a few times. All of the sections are amazing, though. 

The Power of a Praying Wife Devotional

you can get it here!

There is a book called The Power of a Praying Wife which I have never read, but the author then turned it into a devotional and added to it. So I got the devotional instead of the book. This has short, daily devotions for wives.

When I got married, I knew I should start praying for Jordan in a different way now that we were one in Christ and that I was officially his helpmate. (Still makes me smile when I think about it! I sure do love that man.) 

I got this book at Lifeway, mainly because it was on sale, haha. But I have definitely enjoyed it. It prompts me to pray for Jordan about things that I wouldn't think of on my own. It helps me pray for him using Scripture and about him leading us spiritually. And it convicts me about the kind of wife I am being. I definitely recommend it, especially coming from someone who struggles with prayer and staying focused!

If you have any questions about any of these books, don't hesitate to ask! There will be more recommendations coming in the future. :)

What are some devotionals/books that you would recommend for me?

The Real Housewives of the Blog World.

Have you heard of or seen those Real Housewives shows? Where they film some rich, crazy wives in a certain city and people watch their drama? I'm sure you have. I've watched it a few times. 
Some of the shows are pretty entertaining because they fight a lot, but other than that it just reminds me how materialistic and fallen we are. When it comes down to it we're all human, we're all sinners, we're all crazy sometimes, and we all need a Savior. Whether you're super rich and on a reality show or living in frugal simplicity - we're all the same deep down. 
So what about the REAL housewives who aren't on tv? Without a ridiculous amount of money? With struggles and triumphs and lessons learned?
What about the Real Housewives of the Blog World?
That's where you come in. :)
I'm starting a series about us blog wives. You have a story that should be shared. You have words that could encourage all of us. You have a blog that needs to be featured!
So, if you are a wife and I follow your blog, don't be surprised if I ask to feature you in the series. You don't have to participate of course, but I'd love for you to. I want to learn from you and see what God has taught you in marriage and as a wife.
These are the interview questions that I will ask:

1. Introduce us to yourself and your lovely blog!

2. How old are you? You can just give us a range if you'd like. :)3. How long have you been married?4. Do you have a favorite Bible verse or passage pertaining to to marriage or being a wife, or one that has been a consistent encouragement through your marriage?5. Do you have a favorite book about marriage, being a wife, or being a godly woman that you could suggest for us?

Now, please tell us three things you've learned about marriage or married life!

Lastly, give us one piece of wife advice so we can learn from you!

I may tweak them as I go, but that's what I've asked the first few people.
I'm going to compile all of them as they are posted and list them in the "Relationships" part of the top main menu. That way they can be accessed easily.
Here is the pretty little button that will go along with the series. :)

I'm excited to feature our first very special housewife tomorrow, so get pumped! 

girls who like sports. SHOCKING.

This is something that has always bothered me, but especially lately. Don't take me too seriously, I'm not being some crazy feminist or putting this in a category with racism or anything like that. I'm just gonna go on a mini-rant here. Bear with me.


I am a female, obviously. I also have blonde hair, which I try to make look presentable. I use make-up most days. I wear dresses and heels quite frequently. I even participated in a team of people who could almost be identified as cheerleaders. These are all true statements.


What are some other true statements about me? I adore anything related to sports. I've played them. I've watched them. I've coached them. Therefore, I know a lot about them. Yes, there are some sports I don't know a lot about - soccer, lacrosse, and water polo to name a few. If I don't know something about any sport, I'll ask or research it. But the ones with which I normally involve myself, I know. Especially basketball and baseball. They are very dear to my heart.

In most people's eyes (and when I say people it mostly means men, but I don't mean ALL men), the two previous paragraphs do not go together whatsoever. Or at least they assume they don't. Yes, I KNOW that there are a lot of girls who don't know much about sports. There are also guys who don't, but I would guess that the girls outnumber the guys. Regardless, there are many, many girls who DO know. They DO watch, and play, and coach, and they DO love it. Guys have told me that I am an "exception". Well, apparently I just know a lot of girls who are also "exceptions". Girls who know all the rules, yell at the TV, and watch with their men because they like it.


I think this has really gotten to me lately because recently I've experienced this attitude often. I'll give a few examples. I'm sitting at Jordan's softball game, keeping score in their score book. There is a gentleman who walks up and asks with surprise, "Are YOU keeping score?" I nod, and he kinda laughs. Whatever. In the first inning, the other team has a man on third with 2 outs. The batter grounds out to end the inning. The man who questioned me earlier, turns around and says loudly, "That run doesn't count, you know, because that was the third out." Everything in me wants to give some smart-alecky response, but I hold back, smile, and reply, "I know, thanks." That's all I can do really. Unless I get out there and play with them, or show a couple of the players how they should properly correct their swing so they can stop popping up, this guy won't think differently no matter what I say.


I can't say anything without some sort of negative reaction at Jordan's basketball games. I've had a ref there tell me it's "cute that I'm cheering for my team" and refs laugh at me for my remarks. The refs there are awful, by the way. One game, I opposed a charge call, and exclaimed that the player was not set at all. The ref laughed at me, but then a man sitting not too far from me yelled, "She's actually right, you know." Thank you, sir, for supporting my claim, even though you just haddd to throw that "actually" in there, didn't you.


Another score-keeping incident: my friend Kathleen and I were keeping score for one of Jordan's basketball games. It wasn't even a real game, it was a scrimmage. A couple of the guys playing found it to be crucial that they tell us the correct score after every made basket. Seriously. We were getting extremely annoyed. I wanted to tell one of them that if he used more arc and rotation on his shot instead of shooting line drives from his shoulder that he'd probably have a few more points. But, again, I held back.


There have been many times when I've attempted to enter a Red Sox discussion with a group of guys I don't really know, and it usually ends up going something like this: 


Me: "Well it'd be hard for me to pick, but I guess my favorite would have to be Jacoby Ellsbury. I love him."


Guy: "So you think he's cute?"


Me: "I really like him because he always makes stuff happen, he's aggressive and quick, he makes excellent plays in center field, and he's been brought up through the system - not someone we've acquired with money. Do you think he's cute?"


Guy: Blank look.


That was an example from a conversation I had with some classmates at NCSU. I could go on and on, but you get the picture. It happens a lot. Almost every time I'm involved with some sporting event. Even when I coach - I'm often called a "stat girl" by accident. I've been asked by people if I'm going to keep watching basketball with Jordan now that we're married. All this was definitely common when I was on the Storm Squad. (If you're anything related to a cheerleader it is often assumed you are a ditz in all areas of life.) And I know other sports-loving girls experience this as well. So what do we do about this? Ehh, I don't know. Just keep being ourselves. Because stereotypes are always going to happen. If we lash out at these people, all they're going to remember is how we were rude. 


It's not really that I care as much what these people think, I just get tired of hearing it. I admire those women on ESPN who wear classy outfits, look pretty, and discuss sports right along with all the men on that channel. I've even thought that could be me someday. They probably get this attitude alllll the time. But for now I'll just stick with keeping a good score book and talking about my favorite teams with people who know me. They know not to question my sports intelligence. :) Thanks for bearing with me, I'm done now.