dating relationships 101: steps 1 & 2 to being pursued.

In a country that's all about the working woman, gender equality, and girl power, we have lost something special in our dating relationships - the man pursuing the woman. Women are encouraged to go for it, to be aggressive, to take on relationships just like the guys do. This is NOT the way to do it, and I'm not just saying that because I'm old fashioned or because it's Biblical. If you want a successful relationship, which most people do, it WORKS!


The man is hard wired by God to pursue the woman. He LIKES it and he wants to. If he doesn't want to, he's probably either not mature enough to yet or he's being lazy because girls have consistently thrown themselves at him. Which leads me to Step 1. Actually the real Step 1 would be always praying for your future man, but I'm going to talk about the steps after that.


Step 1.
Wait for the man who will pursue you.
If a guy is interested, TRULY interested in you as a person, he will make the effort. He will want to talk to you. It will be evident. Don't settle for less! We women are emotionally focused, and we are 1.6 million times more likely to be interested in a guy if he is interested in us. Don't google that statistic but it must be true. This leads us down the wrong paths very easily. We fall for the guy because he makes us feel good, he compliments us, he says he likes us. The "players" out there aren't the best looking guys, the most athletic, the most successful in the world's eyes....they're the ones who know how to sweet-talk a girl! It's their greatest weapon! The man who will actually pursue you because he is truly interested and serious probably will seem LESS sweet at first because he's NOT like those guys. He wants to be careful, and he wants to do it the right way. It took me YEARS to learn this. After approximately 5 days of text conversations with Jordan, I was like Why isn't he being flirty? Why isn't he giving me compliments? He MUST not like me. He wants to be just friends. I'll never have a chance. Ummm NO, he was just taking it slow, getting to know me, treating me with respect and care! The way it should be. Instead of throwing out empty words to get me to like him, he was treasuring me as a person and as a potential mate. This is good, not bad, as I originally thought.

Step 2.
Let him act first.
Act first with what, you may ask. Calling? Texting? Asking out? Holding my hand? Sitting on the same couch? Using a winky face instead of a smiley face? Asking about weekend plans? Asking about if you're seeing anyone else? Asking pretty much any question about dating? Making any move that would involve you being more than friends? The answer is yes. All of the above. Everything. Give him that honor! Let him have fun with the chase! I'm not saying don't ever give hints that you like him, because if you really like him it's probably going to show. Example:


Back when we started hanging out more, I really wanted Jordan to know that I thought of him as more than a friend, since we had been friends for a while at that point and I had known him for years. I would try to drop hints, give him subtle compliments, and act just the right way for at least a month. Later, when we were actually dating, I asked him when he knew that I liked him as more than a friend. He said that he knew the night that I went to his Engineer Pageant, (more background here) which was before the entire month I just referred to. Before any of my "hints" or whatever I thought I was doing. He just knew. I felt like a dummy, but it's something we still laugh about. I bet he could tell just by the way that I looked at him. So that just goes to show that maybe we're not as subtle as we think, and we don't give guys enough credit when it comes to figuring girls out. 


So anyway, put the phone down! I KNOW you want to text him in the morning, I know you want to know if he's busy this weekend, I know you want to know his every feeling and heart's desire. If God wants all of that to happen, then it will eventually, for real. If the guy seriously likes you, then he will text you. He will ask you. He will set aside the other females who are not following these steps and hang out with you. He will even want to hang out with you more than his friends - I know, shocker. I remember Jordan saying something like, "I knew that for me to have a girlfriend, it would have to be someone who I wanted to spend time with more than I wanted to hang out with my friends. And I never thought that would happen." Maybe that's one reason he wanted to marry me so quickly, haha. Of course he should still spend time with his friends, but you should be gradually moving on up on his priority list. By HIS choice. Everything should happen through HIM acting first. 


More steps to come.


By the way, if you aren't respecting men then you won't even get to these steps. Respect them before you are pursued so you can learn how to respect the man meant for you. 




Anddd the next steps are available HERE :)